The economy hit me

I know bad things happen for a reason, I know we learn with every experience. When we look back at problems we had in the past, we see they were not that bad, and that usually they bring us something good with them.
I'm not sure if I said this before, but I've been married for 10 years, and no, I'm not in my 40s, I'm in my early 30s. If I already said my age, just do like I never did.
My husband and I waited a long time before even thinking about having babies, we spent a lot of time together, we learned to know each other, to understand each other, we did a lot of yelling, a lot of growing, a lot of loving.
We are now a family of 3, we want to be 4 or 5, but that's another story.
I have never been good with politics, I don't watch the news, I don't understand whats going on, and I don't want to know either. I don't think politicians are honest at all, they act to get people's vote, I would if I wanted to win an election too.
So lets not blame anybody on this post, lets just focus on facts.
We all know that the economy right now sucks (excuse me if you think suck is bad word, but to describe our economy is the most decent word I can think of). We have never been rich, we have never had big savings, I don't think we don't even own anything. But, we managed to live comfortable, we were able to go shopping just for fun or to feel better when we were sad (at least me), we had hobbies, we went out to dinner when we didn't feel like cooking, I even donated my share to church when I had cash in my purse (bad think I know...). But the last year, oh God the last year... We have gone through the worse time of our adult lives. Economy hit us on the face like you couldn't even imagine. Left it's hand mark printed on our chicks, it burns, its red, it hurts, and it hurts constantly.
I went from being a "going nuts for being at home so much" stay at home mom, to a "one and half" full time jobs worker-head of the house-going nut for all the pressure mom.
I know I'm fortune that at least I do have a job, I'm sure there are thousand out there who had lost a lot more than me, but you know.. we always think we have the worst.
It's been really hard to see our bills pile up, being late on our payments, getting rid of one of our cars, not being able to have our pantry full, just buying what we really need, just buying what our daughter needs. But it's being really hard to understand the reason why. Why is this happening to us, why does it have to be this hard, did we really need to learn this way? were we really doing that bad that we needed to learn a lesson?
Its not just about money, its about a family too, fighting about money can destroy any family, any marriage. And if you are not strong enough to keep your love and to keep loving during dark times, your life can become worthless. Its so easy to get to that point, its so hard to stay way from it too.
After you pass the time of trying to find someone to blame for what YOU are going through it gets a little bit easier, it gets easier to support each other, to understand each other, and to appreciate for what each of you do. You start working together again, as a team, and you stop thinking about when everything is going to end and you start focusing on how to survive, and try to be happy at the same time.
When is it going to be over? I don't know, does anybody know? is there a way to say when? Probably not. And I stopped thinking about it. Now I'm trying to be happy again, trying to my best, I know and understand that things could be worse. That there is nobody to blame.
Money is not everything, unfortunately you cant make payers understand this, but once you understand it, you start enjoining life again.
Good luck.

Im back

I had forgotten I even had this blog, and today I got a comment from a reader! wow! someone actually read my blog! and told me to continue writing! isn't it something?? I'm still thinking it was a spam, and they want me to keep writing so someone can make money out of my blog... who knows... I don't trust too many people, especially if they say they like my blog! LOL
I don't remember what I was writing about either, so I'll just write about whats in my mind....
I had a pretty embarrassing moment today, I hit a wall! yes, I hit a wall, really hard, so hard I got a cut on my forehead. I was half asleep, walking in the dark, missed the bed, hit the wall. It happened in the middle of the night, I was so upset, I put ice on it, and went back to sleep. This morning I was surprised to see a huge bump and a nasty scar. I work at the ER of my home town, so since I know everyone there I went to be checked. Thankfully, everything was fine, but how embarrassing to have to say, I walked into a wall, and how embarrassing when they asked me if I was drinking! and no, I wasn't.
I had bruises on my arms too, I've been very tired lately, I'm not paying too much attention to what I do, I guess Ive been bumping into other walls and I don't remember. So they were concerned too, too many bruises, no explanation for them and a huge bump on my head. I'm a pretty smart woman I think, I would never let anybody hurt me, physical or mentally! and, I would fight back, so I would not be going to the ER by myself. It was nice to see how people cares about me, and how they were there for me in case I needed their help. Its hard to convince someone that everything is OK, that I'm not hiding anything. I thank them for worrying, not just about me, but about other people who does need the help, people who is being abused! But I'm OK. I have a headache, a cut on my forehead, bruises on my arms, I'm tired, sleepy, and embarrassed. Time will heal my scar, time will convince them I'm fine, time will give me the energy to stop bumping into walls! and to keep writing my blog!