Casey and Caylee Anthony

Besides the fact that most of the world wants Casey to pay for a crime she seemed to have committed, the process that this involves is extremely painful to watch. We all wish the truth was said, we all want to know why and how little Caylee died. Casey has never admitted she hurt her, she never admitted doing anything wrong, and has not said what really happened on June 15th 2008. We all expect the highest and hardest sentence for her at the end of the trial, but what we really want is for her to admit she committed the crime.
The reason why is so painful for me to watch is the age of little Caylee, very close to my oldest daughter's age. It is a wonderful time of their life, everything is happiness for them, their world is surrounded by positive thoughts, magic and light. They love us and are loved. How could someone hurt, or let someone else hurt a beauty like them?
I've been watching the trial, from a juror point of view, looking for justice, trying to be objective. In my opinion there is nothing that proves she killed her. Clearly there are a lot of lies, but a liar is not always a murderer. In my heart something says there were more people involved. And I wonder, when is these people going to speak up? if they exist of course. Every time I watch a little bit of the trial I think someone is going to jump out of their seat and say "I did it!, I killed Caylee Marie Anthony!" but it hasn't happened yet.
I wonder if Caylee can understand what is going on, from wherever she is, which is probably a very magical and happy place, does she know someone did this to her? does she know the truth? does she still love he mother? will she make sure the truth comes out? One think I'm sure of, is that my daughter, and many other children in this world, have a new and wonderful guardian angel looking after them.

After a year...

It's been a year since last time I posted. And my life situation although has gotten better, it's still difficult and uncertain. One of the big differences is that we are not 3 anymore, we are 4. A beautiful girl came into our lives by surprise, but so much expected. Being a family of four is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and at the same time the most difficult. How can two little girls have so much energy and depend on you so much?
Our economy has changed so much this pass year, I'm sure there are people who still have not seen light at the end of the tunnel. I can't say I'm out of it, but I feel like there is hope, now I just have to figure out a way to fix all the damage that it caused in my life.
I'm down to just one job, working long days to allow me to have more days off with my girls. I'm lucky to be a stay home mom and at the same time work full time. I love being in charge at home, I love teaching them to behave, to eat healthy, to be organized, to clean, and although it's going to take years for them to fully understand it all I can already tell they are getting it.
I have a 3 year old, who loves pink and purple, who lives in a fairy world, who wants butterfly wings to fly over the flowers and rainbows. And I have a 1 year old, who wants to sit on my lap and see the world from there. I still look at my family and wonder where they came from! Besides the money problems, I can say I'm a happy person, just waiting for the waters to calm down!